Noah's nineties endorsements part 1: The Indian Runner.

This is the first in what will hopefully become a series of posts by yours truly in which I recommend a film from the decade that gave me the love of the medium. This is my no means the golden age of cinema, but it was a pretty damn good one to come of age during. I will try to find titles a lot of people may of missed, but I'll also be encouraging you to take a second look at movies you may have dismissed the first time around. The first film is one I've wanted to blog about since I first started writing for Action and Action and remembered that Rob is a big fan of Springsteen, who's connection to the film will become clear as you read on.



Long before Sean Penn was milking the Academy for a yearly acting nomination, he made his directorial debut with an extremely cool, underrated film called The Indian Runner. The few films he's directed since (The Crossing Guard, The Pledge and Into the Wild) have generally been well received as mature, realized projects, but I still feel this often overlooked first film is his strongest. The year was 1991, and the barely 30 year old actor demonstrated that he was a lot more than just that, and was in fact very well adversed in cinema, its past masters and capacity for artistic expression.

When people think of independent cinema in the 90's, most think of Tarantino, Kevin Smith, and all those that tried to be like either Tarantino or Kevin Smith. The Indian Runner came out before either of them had made a film, and features a cast that I'm sure had Tarantino seeing it at his first opportunity. The film stars David Morse as the 'highway patrolman' Joe Roberts and Viggo Mortenson stealing every scene as his enigmatic, trouble-seeking brother Frank. The supporting cast boasts names like Charles Bronson, Patricia Arquette, Dennis Hopper, Valeria Golino, and even a brief appearance by a young Benicio Del Toro. As if this cast wasn't already enough to give it a 10/10 on the ultra cool scale, Penn got the story idea for his original screenplay from Bruce Springsteen's 'Highway Patrolman.' Refer to song below for plot summery.



Probably because the film takes place prior to the Boss's day, the song is not featured in the film, but the badass classic rock soundtrack compliments several scenes beautifully.

Attesting to Penn's well placed influence and awareness, is the film's dedication in loving memory of John Cassavetes and Hal Ashby. Myself being more familiar with Cassavetes (actor turned father of independent cinema, created very personal projects such as A Woman Under the Influence), I can certainly see moments reflective of the great director. My favourite being a hilarious little scene which relates little to the rest of the plot, all done in one shot where a nosey local tries to console Joe who is clearly annoyed as he washes his police cruiser while she follows him round and round. Sean Penn apparently developed a bit of a relationship with Cassavetes before his passing and had planned to collaborate. Penn later starred in She's So Lovely directed by John's son, Nick Cassavetes.

For the most part a heavy, serious drama, the film will often surprise you with strange little touches of humour, such as the aforementioned car washing scene, and several other moments which seem almost Lynchian to me.

After watching the film, I recommend checking out the trailer on youtube, which I see as a humerous demonstration of advertisers' total inability to market what is essentially an art film. I'm reminded of the classic re-cut 'Shining' trailer, particularly when the trailer's cliched voice states “Franky and Joe have one more chance to make everything right” making it look like a fun filled film of two brothers re-kindling a childhood relationship.

Anyway, I think I've ranted on long enough for now. Just see it, and hopefully you will recognize how elements of the film pay homage to some of cinema's most inspiring auteurs while others make it truly unique and one of the first in what was to become a great decade for independent cinema.

Fun fact: The film has a birthing scene with a 'crowning' shot pre-dating Knocked Up's by 16 years... eat that Apatow! (Judd Apatow has also named Cassavetes as an influence... I guess they both directed movies, I see no further connection).

waaAAIHHaa

As Action and Action's patriarch figure travels back from his extended tour around the land of snogs, scarves, and casual attitudes towards dental hygiene, here's a cool video that has nothing to do with any of that.



There's all kinds of compilations of the Wilhelm scream on youtube, but I found this video to be the most interesting and informative, though they fail to mention its common use in video games as well.

Years ago I brought this familiar scream up to a film studies friend of mine who said 'Oh yeah, the Wilhelm scream.' I always wondered how he knew that, and in the back of my mind thought he could be making that name up to sound knowledgeable. Score one for him.

do you want me to trash your lights!?!

By now you've probably heard about the now-infamous Christian Bale outburst from the set of Terminator: Salvation when he screamed at the DP, Shane Hurlbut for fiddling with the lights in the middle of an important scene. I have avoided mentioning it thus far but the internet has been going mental over this clip for the last week or so, with a large camp declaring Bale a self-righteous asshole. He probably does deserve some of this, as he does go way, way overboard during his nearly 5 minute long rant. So this has obviously become a new internet meme and has resulted in all kinds of funny, awesome reinterpretations like the techno remix:



I obviously find this stuff fucking hilarious (as you can see from the picture I photoshopped above this post,) but I also have huge respect for Bale as an actor and from what I understand, messing around with the lighting when somebody is trying to act is distracting and pretty frowned upon in the film world. AICN posted a great piece in his defense when this first happened and if you are going to listen to the outburst and laugh like so many of us have then you should read that as well as it gives you a bit of a different perspective on the whole situation. So this brings me to my point, which was that Bale recently phoned in to the radio station KROQ to talk about the incident. He sounds genuinely apologetic, makes fun of himself and explains his side of the whole situation and I think he sounds like a pretty cool guy who was going through some difficulties at the time and had a freak out that was unfortunately broadcast to the entire universe a few months later. Check it out:

well done academy. you suck.

Well the list of Oscar nominations was released this morning. The Academy got a few things right but mostly just exposed themselves as being a bunch of shameless dumbasses, which is pretty much par for the course for this increasingly irrelevant organization that will happily hand over best picture honours to any condescending drivel whose main thematic message is that "racism = bad." I could continue to rant about this, but I would pretty much be repeating every argument verbatim from this AV Club piece, so just read that instead. Actually no, fuck it, I'm going to rant just a little bit. In short, it just seems logical to me to give a Best Picture and Best Director nod to the film and director that united critics and audiences unlike anyone had ever really done before, even if said film was ostensibly about a dude who dresses up like a bat. I haven't seen The Reader, the Kate Winslet "sexy illiterate Nazi movie" that ended up getting the nomination, so I guess I'm not in too much of a position to criticize it, but I think The Dark Knight or Wall-E deserved a little more recognition for what they accomplished, even if they do happen to be big pop culture movies and not quiet character studies. If they absolutely had to go the usual Academy route, I would have gladly given The Wrestler (which I will say one final time was my favourite film of last year,) or Gran Torino (which was also fucking amazing) the nomination. But hey, who asked me right? Also, despite my endorsement only yesterday, both the Boss and Clint got snubbed in the best song category! I'm not even going to say anything about that, I'm too angry.

Anyways here's the list of the major nominations and my picks for who is going to win.

BEST ACTOR
Richard Jenkins - The Visitor
Frank Langella - Frost / Nixon
Sean Penn - Milk
Brad Pitt - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Mickey Rourke - The Wrestler

Bobbo pick: Rourke better win this or else...I will write something angry about it in this blog, so watch out, Academy.

BEST ACTRESS
Anne Hathaway - Rachel Getting Married
Angelina Jolie - The Changeling
Melissa Leo - Frozen River
Meryl Streep - Doubt
Kate Winslet - The Reader

Bobbo pick: to be honest I haven't seen any of these. Fuck it, give it to Winslet, she's been nominated like 8,000 times.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Josh Brolin - Milk
Robert Downey Jr. - Tropic Thunder
Phillip Seymour Hoffman - Doubt
Heath Ledger - The Dark Knight
Michael Shannon - Revolutionary Road

Bobbo pick: I'm shocked that RDJ was nominated, and I certainly loved that performance, but this one goes to Heath.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Amy Adams - Doubt
Penelope Cruz - Vicki Cristina Barcelona
Viola Davis - Doubt
Taraji P. Henson - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Marisa Tomei - The Wrestler

Bobbo pick: Tomei's performance in The Wrestler was outstanding. So was her nudity.

BEST DIRECTOR
David Fincher - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Ron Howard - Frost / Nixon
Gus Van Sant - Milk
Stephen Daldry - The Reader
Danny Boyle - Slumdog Millionaire

Bobbo pick: I would give it to Ron Howard but Danny Boyle will probably win.

BEST PICTURE
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Frost / Nixon
Milk
The Reader
Slumdog Millionaire

Bobbo pick: I would rather this went to The Dark Knight, Wall-E, The Wrestler, or Gran Torino, but of the films that were actually nominated, again I think Frost / Nixon should win but it will most likely be Slumdog Millionaire.

this just in: Man on Wire is a good movie.

I know I already published my top 10 films of 2008, but there were several critically acclaimed films that got left off my list not because they weren't any good, but because I just haven't seen them. Films like Frost-Nixon, Revolutionary Road and Gran Torino for example. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button was also left off for this reason, but I did end up seeing it and here's my short review: it looks fantastic, the acting is great and David Fincher is one of the best directors working today. But it was fucking boring. So it doesn't make the top 10 list anyways.

Man on Wire was another one of the films that I didn't include, but I just saw this today and I am still stunned. It is a wildly entertaining documentary. I have a pretty severe fear of heights so I was having heart palpitations just looking at photos taken from the top of the World Trade Center, so it goes without saying that I still can barely fathom what Phillip Petit did on that day (if you haven't heard of this movie, it is about Petit and a group of accomplices who illegally string a cable across the two towers of the WTC. And then Petit walks back and forth between them. 8 times.) Needless to say, this effeminate little Frenchman is much more manly than I could ever hope to be. I will also say that it was very refreshing to see this film, about a group of men who spent months carefully planning an intricate illegal plot involving the World Trade Center - and have the final result be so beautiful and awe-inspiring, rather than...actually lets not go there.

Anyways I'm not going to change my lists or any bullshit like that, but if you have the chance to see Man on Wire, please do it, because it is really good.

Action and year end lists.

Note: this was originally posted on the Mission District site but I thought I would post it here as well for anyone who missed out.

Since the new year is upon us, this means there has been the inevitable storm of year end lists from all the usual suspects. Time. Pitchfork. Spin. Rolling Stone. I am in no way qualified to write a year end list, as I haven't even come close to seeing every good film that's been released, nor have I heard every good album. But you know what, you're the one reading this so you're going to have to read my uninformed opinions and that's just the end of it. So here's my top ten films and top ten albums of 2008, in no particular order:

TOP 10 films

WALL-E
That damn robot almost made me cry several times. Almost.

THE DARK KNIGHT
The best comic book movie ever made. Unbelievable performances from all the actors, particularly Aaron Eckhart and of course, Heath Ledger who will probably win the best supporting actor Oscar for his unforgettable turn as the Joker.

IRON MAN
Perfectly cast and expertly directed by Jon Favreau. Plus RDJ is entertaining no matter what he does so this was just a super fun ride. Can't wait to see how this universe continues to expand in sequels and the eventual Avengers movie.

BURN AFTER READING
I wasn't sure how the Coens were going to follow up No Country For Old Men, but they managed to knock this out of the park. A screwball CIA suspense thriller comedy about a bunch of pathetic losers that ends up going to some surprisingly dark places.

TROPIC THUNDER
A genius concept executed to near perfection by director and star Ben Stiller. Far superior to most of his other bland, dumb leading man romantic comedies. A performance of a lifetime from RDJ (who I clearly have a massive man-crush on,) and Tom Cruise also gets some of the biggest laughs of the movie so clearly I love this.

THE WRESTLER
A heartbreaking look at a broken down man trying to return to his glory days which have long since passed. I have great respect for professional wrestlers and the personal hell they put themselves through in order to entertain people and Darren Aronofsky and Mickey Rourke clearly share that respect. This has been a fantastic year for acting performaces and Rourke's work here is right up there amongst the very best.

LET THE RIGHT ONE IN
An amazingly creepy Swedish vampire film, rent this before they inevitably screw up the American remake.

HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY
Guillermo Del Toro is a living God and Ron Perlman actually is Hellboy. I hope we get a Hellboy III after Guillermo is finished with those two upcoming Hobbit movies.

SNOW ANGELS
David Gordon Green's other movie that came out in 2008, Pineapple Express, was great but this was better (I know, I know, it premiered at Sundance in 2007, but it made its limited theatrical run in 2008 so fuck off I'm including it.) Absolutely devastating story featuring captivating performances from everyone involved, especially Sam Rockwell and Kate Beckinsale.

FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL
It's really cool to see Seth Rogen, James Franco and now Jason Segel (Freaks and Geeks) becoming big movie stars. Segel did a great job writing and starring in this and goes to some amazing lengths to get some of the biggest laughs of the movie (he shows his penis.) Russell Brand is also really funny in this. I am always pleasantly surprised when romantic comedies are actually comedic and not retarded.


Top 10 albums

M83 - SATURDAYS = YOUTH
I think to make this album, this French band actually travelled back in time to the 1980's, lived there for several months hanging out with the Thompson Twins and making this music and then travelled back to the exact point they left so no one noticed they were gone. And thank God they did because this record is incredible.

BRITNEY SPEARS - CIRCUS
The comeback is complete. Circus is fantastic and I am amazed at the positive turn Britney's public image has made in the last few months. I am certain she is still completely insane though.

ROBYN - S/T
This came out in Europe in 2005 but was finally released in North America in 2008, yet for some reason no one really bought it. This is not cool, because this is actually one of the best pop records ever.

GUNS N' ROSES - CHINESE DEMOCRACY
It gets included here just for not being a complete disaster as many were expecting (myself included.) The fact that this is even out still blows my mind. There are a few great songs, but it is mostly just fascinating trying to wrap your mind around the amount of time and money that was spent on this album.

COLDPLAY - VIVA LA VIDA
A genius marketing move, the epic Brian Eno reinvention album that is really not that much of a reinvention at all. Fortunately that doesn't stop Viva La Vida from being really, really good.

KATY PERRY - ONE OF THE BOYS
A really expertly produced, well written pop album. Katy Perry has a great voice and doesn't irritate me like some other similar artists (Avril Lavigne.)

GIRL TALK - FEED THE ANIMALS
Maybe the best party record of all time.

FUCKED UP - THE CHEMISTRY OF MODERN LIFE
It's really interesting to hear these guys take punk and hardcore into strange new directions. This record is great but there is a good chance I am including it in this list just for indie cred.

ALPHABEAT - THIS IS ALPHABEAT
If there is any justice in the universe, this Danish 6-piece will soon be everywhere. They deserve it, this record is a modern pop masterpiece.

THE KILLERS - DAY AND AGE
More immediately accessible than Sam's Town with some filler but still really great overall. There is some interesting sonic experimentation but it feels much more natural and organic this time around. Brandon Flowers finally sounds like Brandon Flowers and not Springsteen or Morrisey.

papa don't preach.

The first time I ever heard of Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon's epic masterpiece Preacher, I was perusing through Millenium Library, my favourite Montreal comic shop, when the clerk suggested that I pick it up. I was, and still am, pretty new to the comic book / graphic novel scene and I needed to be convinced, so I asked him what it was about. Without hesitation he responded by saying, "its about three of the coolest characters you could possibly imagine, driving through Texas and kicking ass in such a way that it makes you want to hang out with them forever." I was sold. It was one of the best endorsements I have ever gotten for anything, ever, and Preacher did not disappoint for a second. It was smart, funny, thought-provoking, extremely violent, and I never wanted the insanely epic trials and tribulations of the Reverend Jesse Custer to end.

So given my intense love of the series, I had been more than a little concerned about the long-in-development HBO adaptation of Preacher. On the one hand, HBO could give the series the time it needed to properly develop the characters and storylines, and could get away with all the vulgar language and graphic violence that the comic is known for. However, it was also being developed by Mark Steven Johnson, who wrote and directed Daredevil and Ghost Rider and was probably most well-known as the writer of the classic 90's old guy buddy comedy, Grumpy Old Men. Not exactly the ideal candidate to bring to life one of the most controversial and celebrated comic books ever created. And mark my words, when this project does finally comes to life, it will definitely be controversial. While in my opinion Preacher raises some very important and poignant issues about the notion of religion and its place in society, I imagine some of the more devout Christians in the United States and elsewhere would probably object to, amongst other things, the depiction of a direct descendent of Jesus Christ as a poo-flinging, jibberish-spouting inbred moron. And since it seems like devout Christians, for some reason, get to decide what is and isn't acceptable viewing material for most regular folks, this is definitely going to become a problem for whatever brave company ultimately ends up attempting to bring this darkly comic tale to the big (or small) screen.

The reason I bring all this up is because HBO recently killed its Preacher project, which I thought was pretty much the end of any prospect of seeing Jesse Custer, his wild-hearted girlfriend Tulip, and their hard-drinking Irish vampire pal Cassidy in action anywhere other than the pages where they were created. And maybe its best that it never is adapted. After all, in its current 9 volume state, Preacher is pretty much as perfect a piece of pop culture as you are ever likely to find - there's no way it can be improved upon, so by that logic its just going to get worse if it is reproduced in any other form. The only way I could be convinced and would get excited about a Preacher adaptation would be if the right people were involved...which is why I was pleasantly surprised when the rights were quickly acquired by Columbia Pictures with Sam Mendes attached to direct.

Mendes, director of American Beauty, who I mentioned a few weeks ago in connection to his upcoming Revolutionary Road, is a talented director that I really admire, and I am perfectly willing to give him the benefit of the doubt as the creative force behind this project. He's definitely never made anything close to this genre-wise, nor has he attempted anything so epic in scope (he's definitely going to need at least three movies in order to tell this story correctly,) but he is unquestionably an immense talent and has a particularly good eye for casting, which is going to make or break this project. Jon Favreau's Iron Man and Christopher Nolan's the Dark Knight were two recent comic book adaptations whose brilliant casting elevated the source material to new heights, and Zack Snyder's Watchmen (another seemingly unadaptable graphic novel that is improbably on its way to theatres,) appears to have succeeded on that front as well, so if Preacher is going to work it is going to have to be perfectly cast.

But who should make up that cast? Here's my Preacher film adaptation cast wishlist:

Rev. Jesse Custer
In many ways this is the toughest casting decision, as this needs to be dead on, and its not going to be easy to find an actor that can effectively portray this extremely bad ass, supernatural power-wielding Southern preacher with the proper mix of humour, charm, and emotional gravity. I think the obvious choice here would be Johnny Depp, as he looks just like the character and has that quirky sensibility that could really work for a project as bizarre as this one. You could definitely argue that Depp is too old to get the part, but then again, I don't think Johnny Depp ages at the same rate as regular humans (he calls us normies.) If you absolutely had to go with someone younger, there are very few actors that spring to mind with the chops to make the character their own, and also be able to handle the physicality and the numerous action set pieces that this is going to require. Joaquin Phoenix? Ryan Gosling maybe? Heath Ledger would have been a fantastic choice so there's another reason why its sad that he's not around anymore. Tough call. I would be happy to see either Depp or Phoenix get the role, but Depp apparently just got paid about 9 billion dollars to star in the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie, and Phoenix I guess has retired from acting to focus on "his music." What a wanker. I guess Gosling gets it by default but as much as I like him as an actor I'm not convinced he could pull it off. I will probably think of someone perfect for this as soon as this post is published, then in an Orwellian fashion I will erase what I'm writing right now and claim that was what I thought all along. So I guess I'll just move along then.

Cassidy
When you read a character description that says, "drunken Irish vampire," one name should immediately spring to mind: Colin Farrell. He could definitely do it, but I think the more interesting choice here would be the fantastic Simon Pegg (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz.) He's definitely got the high geek factor and I get the sense that he would appreciate the gravity of the project, and although he's never played anything like this before I have a feeling he could knock this role out of the park. Every character in Preacher is ridiculously nuanced and layered, and Cassidy is maybe the epitome of this, but Pegg proved that he had mad range in the genre-bending Shaun and I know he could do it. As a sidenote I'm really excited to see what he brings the role of Scotty in JJ Abrams upcoming Star Trek. That was a pretty inspired casting choice to add to what was already a really interesting group of actors, and I can't wait to see how that plays out. Then again, Simon Pegg could be cast to portray a sympathetic, lonely, misunderstood Paul Bernardo and I would still watch it.

Tulip O'Hare
Ideally, for this role you would be able to go back in time and use circa-1995 Patricia Arquette, as Tulip is similar in many ways to Patricia's character of Alabama in the brilliant True Romance. In any case, since time travel hasn't been invented...yet...I am going to go ahead and call this one for Battlestar Galactica's Katie Sackhoff. Her great portrayal of Starbuck has showed us more than the requisite amount of spunky heroine-ness that would be required to bring this character to life accurately, plus she is blonde and is quite easy on the eyes. She also has the unparalelled geek factor working in her favour. This one is a no contest.

Herr Starr
It is going to be almost impossible to find an actor who not only has the range to play this character, but is also willing to humiliate themselves and have some fun with the role, as Herr Starr suffers pretty much every physical degradation you can possibly imagine in his never-ending quest to screw over Jesse Custer. At times this actor is going to have to portray a cold, calculating super soldier in some insane action sequences, and then, often in the same scene, switch to the broadest possible physical comedy. Nevertheless, he's an amazing character, and although there a few actors that could conceivably take it on, (Ed Harris or previous Mendes-collaborator Kevin Spacey for instance,) I would love to see Patrick Stewart in this role. Not only does he already look exactly like Starr, but it would just be amazing to hear an enraged Captain Picard utter classic lines like: "you turned me into a homosexual, you unbelievable prick!" while choking out a stunned and incompetent lackey. We also know from his hilarious appearance on Extras that he is able to poke fun at his image, so I think this would be brilliant casting.

Saint of Killers
Ideally you would want Clint Eastwood for this, but since he's too busy winning academy awards these days its pretty unlikely you would see him take this part. In a pinch you could also go with Kill Bill's David Carradine, but you know what, I'm going to go with the sleeper casting choice and pick Javier Bardem for this one. He played a savage, unstoppable killer pretty convincingly in No Country for Old Men and I think he would be great for this.

Arseface
The role of Arseface would be played by this guy. Why? Because fuck him, that's why.

But seriously, Jack Black would play Arseface.


No matter who ends up getting cast in this thing, I will very likely be there opening weekend to see Sam Mendes' Preacher adaptation. Hopefully it will live up to my already ridiculously high expectations. And if you are still reading this and you have never read Preacher, please buy it immediately and check it out, I can almost guarantee that you will love it. Unless you are a devout Christian, you object to graphic violence, or it makes you uncomfortable to hear people say things like, "Ah Demi - I do hope I will have the pleasure of urinating on your cleavage later?" If that's the case than you should probably try and avoid Preacher at all costs.

why do I cuss like a sailor?

I was just perusing my last couple of posts and noticed that I use profanity in almost every one of them - a disturbing trend which I have now realized traces all the way back to the beginning of this blog (for example, the title of my third post is F*CKING F*CK.) At first I didn't think much of it, but it has slowly dawned on me that for most modern day, enlightened individuals, this isn't exactly standard procedure. How can I really expect to sound intelligent or be taken seriously if I talk like some kind of crude street urchin?

I've examined the vastly superior blogs of other like-minded, beer-bellied layabouts and I can't help but feel that sometimes, instead of coming across as entertaining or thought provoking I can be a bit vulgar and boorish. Or is it that my colourful vernacular is the product of a different sort of pop cultural landscape that just doesn't exist anymore? I thought I would try to examine the origins of my sailor-like speech patterns and see if I could come up with some kind of greater explanation for what it all means in a larger, social context. At this point it seems unlikely that I will be able to do that, but bear with me here, I feel like rambling. Let's see what I can come up with.

Seeing as how today I am a shameless, filthy internet addict, its difficult for me to think back of what life was like before we were all blessed with this wondrous, porn-filled miracle. But although I may have came of age with the internet, I was definitely a product of the VCR generation. In addition to some basic human interaction and moderate outdoor activity, one pastime I had when I was younger was to close myself in my room for hours on end and obsessively watch my favourite movies over and over again. In one of these films, I could derive hours and hours of entertainment, as I watched them repeatedly until the scripts and soundtracks were burned directly onto my brain. A few that I can think of off the top of my head are Aliens, Terminator 2, Predator, Predator 2, Total Recall, Hard to Kill, Under Siege, Die Hard, Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, From Dusk Till Dawn, and Desperado. There is definitely a common thread to this random sampling of movies that the mid-nineties me obsessed over: each one of them was rated R, filled with foul language, and featured scenes of extreme violence (and in most cases, nudity, the most glorious of all the forbidden movie vices.)

This is one of the reasons that I get really frustrated in today's stifling, politically correct, artistic vacuum. There are politicians out there who seem to believe that playing Grand Theft Auto will cause the next generation of children to turn into a group of animal-torturing, psychotic serial killers. This same sort of backlash has been occuring in pop culture for decades, like the 80s and 90s, where spotlight-loving doomsayers like Tipper Gore denounced certain films and records that they deemed to be unacceptable. Or the 60s when a nation of parents recoiled in horror when their baby boom offspring were listening to music that encouraged free sex and drug use. Or the 50s when those same people listened to Elvis, and their parents were disgusted by the success of a sexually explicit, black music-imitating, southern pretty boy. I could go on. The only difference seems to be that today, the politicians are actually winning, and slowly but surely, our culture is being homogenized into a family-friendly, PC heck hole.

Of course, I am a shining example of someone who was constantly inundated with sex, violence, and foul language from the time I was very young, and for all intents and purposes, I think I turned out alright: to this day, I have never been in a real fight with anyone (and seeing as how I am a passive, socially-awkward nerd, let's hope this never changes.) I suppose one of the only tangible effects my childhood indulgences have had on me is in my somewhat vulgar speech patterns. The films of Quentin Tarantino probably had the biggest influence on me in this respect, as even as a youngster I loved the way that he used language, with crude threats of violence, colourful epiphets (that occasionally even ventured into blatant sexism, racism or homophobia,) and pop culture references that came together and became a sort of modern American poetry.

I rewatched Reservoir Dogs in my first year of University after not having seen it for several years, and I was actually pretty shocked at the level of violence and profanity in it, not to mention the fact that it was a much more bleak and nihilistic than I remembered. In fact, I distinctly remember feeling strange that I had watched it so much as a child without ever being negatively affected by some of the film's more visceral moments. But that's just what the reactionaries that like to denounce such things don't understand: even a small child recognizes the difference between fantasy and reality. The inability to do so is just as likely an indication of a mental illness and not proof positive that Satan-loving film makers and musicians are destroying minds with their perverse and shameful "art."

*Though just to clear things up, I'm not advocating showings of Reservoir Dogs to groups of small children, just suggesting that it is more a parent's responsibility to judge what is best for their child, and not leave it up to a movie studio or the government.

Today, both in an effort to market their films to the widest possible audience, and to pre-emptively disarm any potential controversy that could prevent them from making the largest amount of money possible, most mainstream movies are streamlined for a family audience, even if they might have the illusion that they are just the opposite. The ultimate example of this unfortunate practice is in Bruce Willis' limp 2007 sequel, Live Free or Die Hard. As I mentioned before, the original Die Hard is one of my favourite movies of all time, and part of the reason an entire generation of people loved and obsessed over this movie was because of the graphic violence and hilariously vulgar language spewed out by Willis' iconic John McClane character. This is why I was disappointed when I finally saw the film, which unlike any other in the franchise, had been rated PG-13, and saw an unrecognizable, Mr. Clean-resembling Willis, dispatching baddies with the Mac guy in tow, without a drop of blood or a cuss word to be found. He wasn't even allowed to fully utter the signature catchphrase of the series. I was not impressed, but I wish I could say that this travesty had an effect on critics or audiences, as it scored an impressive 81% on rottentomatoes.com and grossed 134 million dollars domestically.

So it seems the dreaded MPAA has won the culture war, and now the violent, vulgar films that I enjoyed when I was younger are quickly becoming the minority, replaced instead by soulless imitations that are more concerned with toy merchandising and fast-food chain endorsement than any type of artistic expression, to be sold en masse to an audience that is all too willing to shell out its hard-earned money no matter what the quality of the product they are purchasing. It is a depressing time to be a voracious consumer of pop culture, although there are definitely a few mavericks out there like Edgar Wright or Neil Marshall, as well as some major Hollywood players like Judd Apatow and of course, Tarantino, who realize that you can still make money without pandering to the widest possible audience or the lowest common denominator, and are attempting to bring back the type of movie that I loved so much when I was younger.

Which brings me back to my original point, if I ever actually had one, which was whether I swore too much, and the answer is: probably. But you know what, if that one simple question gives me a reason to go off on such a disjointed, nonsensical rant, then damnit, I'm going to relish the opportunity. As I mentioned, I was in the mood to ramble, and looks like it was mission accomplished on that particular front; special thanks to the three of you who stuck around for the finale. I guess I just feel passionate about some things. In the future, I will continue to rant about things that I feel are important, or bring you the random weirdness and quirky humour that you've come to expect from me, but in an effort to reach the widest possible audience, I will try not to say fuck quite so much. I've got to make a living somehow.

Revolutionary Road.

An award-baiting drama by American Beauty's Sam Mendes about American postwar suburban angst that reunites Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet?

Oh fuck yeah.

Alive in Joberg.

Here's a short film I found called Alive in Joberg directed by Neill Blomkamp, who at one point was going to direct the Peter Jackson produced Halo adaptation. He has a great feel for visual effects and the film, like most great science fiction, comments on our own society and how it functions in an intelligent allegorical way. I personally love sci-fi that's very much grounded in the reality that we live in, so I think Blomkamp's use of handheld, documentary style footage really adds something special to the tone of the piece. I'm really interested to see what he could do with a feature film and a major studio budget. Here it is:



found via Ain't it Cool News.

listen to me, I'm a celebrity.

Hello. I am an apathetic 18-24 year old who has never participated in the democratic process. All I want to do is smoke marijuana and watch MTV all day. I know nothing about any world issues outside of what I read in US magazine. Oh, look. Here comes a group of random celebrities. I wonder if they have anything to say about my empty, meaningless lifestyle?



Thank you celebrities. Without your condescending, arrogant words of advice, I would never have known that I can participate in the selection of a new leader for my country. Hooray.

Sigh.

Seriously though, I am having a hard time deciding whether to get angry about this, or concede that there are actually some people out there that will be encouraged to vote by this video. But at the same time, if a person has to be told by Jennifer Aniston to vote, should this person even be allowed to vote in the first place? Think about it.

I still did enjoy Sarah Silverman and Jonah Hill, though I would much rather listen to Craig Ferguson's thoughts on the subject.

two crazy bastards.

So its 1 am and I am watching Abel Ferrera's Bad Lieutenant on television, and I am getting some major kicks out of Harvey Keitel's delightfully unhinged performance as the out-of-control drug and gambling addicted Lieutenant. As Keitel descends further and further into crazytown, I can't help but be reminded of probably the most fucking insane movie character ever, Dennis Hopper's crazed, mysterious gas-huffing, sociopathic pimp from Blue Velvet, Frank Booth:



So I'm starting to wonder which character is more crazy: the Lieutenant or Frank Booth? Lets start by examining their mutual behaviour at arguably their most batshit-insane moments.

the Lieutenant


Frank Booth


Wow. Those are two deeply, deeply troubled individuals.

Now, the two characters share many similarities, like a nagging chemical dependency and the ability to fly off the handle in mad fits of rage at a moment's notice. But at least there is a method to Keitel's madness: the baseball team that he has bet money on loses, and since he has been drinking and snorting cocaine all day, he shoots out the radio in his car before falling into a deep existential despair. Hopper, on the other hand, goes on a completely "what the fuck?" psychosexual rampage, complete with a serious insanity-inducing mystery gas, and for no real discernible reason other than the fact that he seems to enjoy being a complete lunatic and punching Isabella Rossellini in the face.

So based on the pure empirical evidence, my heart is telling me to go with Hopper on this one, but right now I have to say I'm leaning towards the Lieutenant. Although I will admit that this decision is more than a little biased by the fact that at this exact moment, Harvey Keitel is holding two men at gunpoint and smoking crack while watching a baseball game. It's hard not to be influenced by that.

No matter which character is technically more of a psychopath, I've got to commend both actors for helping to redefine what it means to be an insane person in the world of cinema. Can you imagine if these two characters ever met and hung out in real life? I actually think the universe would explode. Or possible implode. Or maybe nothing at all would happen but in any case, there would be two very angry, very crazy, drug-addicted old guys roaming the streets together who I would be avoiding at all costs.

Synecdoche, New York

This is one of my most anticipated upcoming releases. Charlie Kaufman (Adaptation, Being John Malkovich, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,) is one of my favourite writers, and Synecdoche, New York is his feature directorial debut. It stars Phillip Seymour Hoffman, and it looks to be another postmodern, wonderfully acted mindfuck from Kaufman. From what little I know of it, it reminds me the most of Adaptation, which I think was one of the best films of the last decade or more.

here is a link to the trailer which I can't embed in the page because of the annoying Variety flash player. Also, here is a lengthy audio interview with Kaufman, and here is a video of Kaufman on the Charlie Rose show.

this is all via Ain't it Cool.

I would go gay for RDJ

Now let me preface this by saying that I am generally as straight a guy as they come. Having said that, I have become a pretty big fan of Robert Downey Jr in the last few years. His work in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, A Scanner Darkly, Iron Man, Good Night and Good Luck, and Zodiac have, in my mind at least, cemented him as one of the most talented actors working today. He has a unique ability to make the most inane, pointless dialogue seem witty and entertaining, and though I haven't seen Tropic Thunder yet, his performance in that looks to be the stuff of comic legend. It's a testament to his skills that he was able to play such a controversial part that in the hands of a lesser actor would have most likely been vulgar and offensive, and have it be greeted with almost no outrage or disdain upon the movie's release (except for those that were offended by the gratuitous use of the word retard.) He has also been cast as the title role in Guy Ritchie's upcoming Sherlock Holmes and I am dying to see what he comes up with for that.

Anyways, my love of moustaches has been well documented, and recently, while doing promotions for Tropic Thunder, when RDJ showed up looking like this, my mind was pretty much blown:



Now, let me reiterate that I am most definitely not gay. But, if I was forced at gunpoint to have a sweaty, passionate, sexual tryst with another man, I mean...I could do a lot worse right??

box office poison.

In 1998, Melrose Place star Courtney Thorne-Smith decided to branch out into the world of mainstream cinema and played the love interest in the movie Chairman of the Board, which was supposed to launch the career of a popular, prop-wielding comedian by the name of Carrot Top. I've never actually seen resulting movie, but I did watch the trailer and as we all know, Carrot Top is a pretty unfunny, annoying loser, so I can imagine that the movie was a pretty massive piece of crap. Anyways, after she was done making this movie, Courtney made the mistake of appearing on Late Night with Conan O'brien on the same night as comedian Norm MacDonald. Norm didn't seem to hold Carrot Top in very high esteem either, and the result is one of the fucking funniest interviews ever.



Also, in a related subject, somehow Carrot Top now looks like this:

Biehn there, done that.

Tonight it occurred to me that despite my fascination / obsession with 80's action movies and the tremendous actors that starred in them, I had never given the slightest mention of my all-time favourite 80's actor, Michael Biehn. Then when I realized the completely ridiculous potential puns that I could come up with to use as the title of the post, it kind of seemed like a no-brainer to write something about Michael. From 1984 to 1989 he was James Cameron's golden boy, appearing in the Terminator, Aliens, and the Abyss, 3 of the best genre pictures ever made, and yet was somehow never able to translate this success into official leading man status. In 1990, he did star in Navy Seals with Charlie Sheen, but after that, besides Tombstone in 1992 and the Rock in 1996, all he's really done is a bunch of crappy TV movies that no one saw, like Asteroid, or critically reviled theatrical flops like Jade.

This just kind of upsets me just because he's so great in the hard-assed hero role in both Terminator and Aliens. I vividly remember crying uncontrollably when he sacrificed his life to save Sarah Connor, and...shit I just realized I cried uncontrollably when his character died in the opening minutes of Alien 3. I honestly just realized that. That is actually fucked up, even for me. Do I have some kind of weird, Freudian pshychosexual obsession with Michael Biehn? You know what, on second thought, don't answer that. Um, anyways, he was also awesome as a scary military psychopath in the Abyss (where he also sported one of cinema's all-time great moustaches, seen above.) He proved he had range, was in some damn successful films, and had some, dare I say, ruggedly handsome good looks, so I don't see why he never became more of a movie star. By 1999, he was slumming it by "acting" in the videogame Command and Conquer: Tiberian Sun. That is just not cool at all. He did do a bunch of other movies in the 90's but a lot of them are quite obscure and I have a strong feeling that many of them are played late at night on Cinemax, and feature gratuitous butt shots. I have too much respect for the guy to find out.

Anyways, I was delighted to see him pop up in Robert Rodriguez's Planet Terror, even though I wasn't crazy about the movie itself, and the whole Grindhouse experiment was pretty much a massive theatrical flop. Nevertheless, I do see that he has an astonishing 5 movies in post production right now, including Streets of Blood with Val Kilmer, Sharon Stone, and 50 Cent. So that's kind of a big deal. Here's hoping that more directors realize that there has been a serious lack of Biehn - a Biehn-vacuum, if you will - in modern day cinema, and that it would be foolish to allow this virtually untapped ass-kicking resource to continue wasting away in late night Cinemax purgatory. Because trust me: this guy is no has-Biehn.

the Dark Knight.

Well, I finally saw it. And there's not much I can really say about this movie that hasn't already been said. Is it the greatest film of all time? No, its not. But it does represent something really cool, and that's the coming together of a group of really talented filmmakers and actors who have taken source material that is inherently stupid - that is, a man dressing up in a bat suit and beating up criminals - but treated it in an intelligent, adult way, resulting in a final product that is both entertaining and thought provoking, and is still making absolutely fucking insane amounts of money.

On top of that, you have Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker who automatically becomes one of the most iconic screen villains of all time; I was absolutely mesmerized by him for every second he was on the screen, and its really quite sad that we'll never seem him reprise this character, or act in another film ever again. Although pretty much every performance gets completely overshadowed by Ledger, the rest of the cast was amazing, especially Aaron Eckhart who I thought was fucking fantastic as Harvey Dent. He gets just as much screen time as Christian Bale in this movie, and he really makes you believe in this character, and that adds a lot of weight to the unspeakably tragic story arc this guy has in the Batman universe.

So all in all, my hat is off to Christopher Nolan, he wasn't given an easy task to reinvent this franchise, which had been absolutely destroyed by Joel Schumacher, and the campy ridiculousness of the previous two films. But with good writing, completely perfect casting, and his usual skill behind the camera, (which has grown exponentially since his first major film only a few years ago,) Nolan has managed to make an instant classic: an Oscar-worthy crime drama about a dude in a bat suit. Amazing.

And now I've gone and said a bunch of things about the movie that have already been said hundreds of times but much more reputable sources than myself. I was seriously trying not to do that.

playing with the boys.

So I watched Top Gun again the other day, and it had been quite a while. I had (almost) forgotten just how homoerotic the volleyball scene with Cruise, Val Kilmer, Anthony Edwards, and random sweaty, muscular guy was.



Now they're talking about making a Top Gun sequel?? I'm so there.

superhero movies don't suck anymore.

I'm incredibly excited about seeing the Dark Knight this weekend. Its funny, because you'll remember way back on June 25th, I mentioned that I had a suspicion that Heath Ledger would get nominated for a posthumous Oscar for his role as the Joker, and within the next few weeks, the movie started screening for critics and pretty much every review I've read has said the same thing. The only thing is, I was basing this assumption on the fact that the publicity surrounding his death would force the extremely shallow Academy to give him the nomination, no matter how good the actual performance was. But from what I understand, Ledger really did turn in a performance for the ages, and most critics seem to agree that he would have gotten the nomination whether he had died or not. In any case, I am chomping at the bit to see what Christopher Nolan and that absolutely insane cast has accomplished, the gushing hyperbole surrounding the movie has been so intense that I am pretty much expecting to see one of the greatest movies of all time, and anything less than that will be a profound disappointment. Yet somehow I have a feeling it is going to live up to those impossibly high expectations. I guess I'll find out this weekend.

Its really quite astounding how seriously studios are starting to take superhero movies. You have Marvel creating this true cinematic multiverse with Iron Man, the Incredible Hulk, and their upcoming plans for Thor, Captain America, and the Avengers, you have Christopher Nolan pretty much doing whatever the fuck he wants with the Batman franchise and making a movie that people are seriously comparing to Heat and the Godfather II, and now you also have a Hollywood studio actually making an Alan Moore adaptation that looks to be a faithful interpretation of the greatest graphic novel of all time:



Things are really looking up for geeky fanboys like me. Now we just need an epic, sweeping adaptation of Robert Kirkman's the Walking Dead, directed by Peter Jackson. That would actually make me cry a little.

Happy Birthday TC

Today is the birthday of one of my all-time favourite actors, Tom Cruise. I know that he has taken a lot of shit with the media (and pretty much everyone else in the world) over the last few years as he has grown to be more and more outspoken about Scientology, but amidst all that he has been turning in some stellar performances that get totally overlooked because of his so-called 'mental instability.' He always seems to work with really great directors like Spielberg, Michael Mann, P.T. Anderson and Cameron Crowe, picks interesting projects and never phones in a performance. Despite (or perhaps because of) the intense backlash against the Cruise, I have been, and will continue fervently supporting him to anyone who will listen.

And besides, is Scientology really that bad? Is alien spirits trapped in your body that were once blown up with hydrogen bombs at the hands of a Galactic Emperor named Xenu really more bizarre than most of the fantastical and obviously made up shit that comes from any other major religion? And I don't know, I can't help but watch this next video, and think that some of it makes a lot of sense! I think I need to head over to my local Scientology center for a free E-Meter reading.



See, they're the authorities on improving conditions! They improve conditions. And they're here to help. Period. Happy Birthday Tom.