Rick Rolling is pretty stupid.

Most massively popular internet phenomena are completely insane and pointless, but the whole Rick Rolling thing continues to escape me. If you are unfamiliar with the concept of Rick Rolling, it is when you are led to a certain place on the internet under false pretenses, like so:

OMG I have exclusive photos of Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson's super top-secret wedding! You have to click here immediately, like right now! You won't regret it!!!

You've just been Rick Rolled. Not that funny is it? But I still do enjoy this next video, which clearly took a lot more skill, time and effort than just posting a link to a Rick Astley video and saying that its something else.



and on that note, you should check this video as well, which is another well-edited live music video, but this one has nothing to do with Rick Astley, unfortunately. This is the first and hopefully the last time I will ever mention or post something about Slipknot.

this is absolutely terrifying

You know, the Simpsons has been really awful for the past few seasons, which is depressing because its clearly one of the best and funniest tv shows ever made. Only now, I don't think I'm going to be able to watch even the earlier, good episodes without this monstrosity coming to mind:



This is so horrifyingly bizarre that H.P. Lovecraft and Salvador Dali would glance at it and run crying into the night. I am going to be having nightmares about this for weeks.

i will never be embarassed again

A lot of embarrassing things have happened to me over the course of my life. Probably the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me was this one time, I was in junior kindergarten and I peed myself during recess. When I went inside the school, one of the teachers got some well-meaning older kids to help me get cleaned up and give me some fresh clothes. But the problem was, the older kids mistook me for a girl and then gave me a dress which I had to wear for the rest of the day (come to think of it, maybe these older kids weren't well-meaning at all and were actually sadistic assholes.) Anyways the point of that story is, that was pretty embarrassing, but I don't consider it that big of a deal. I mean come on, I was like 5 years old, give me a fucking break. Things could have been a whole lot worse. For instance, I could have been this guy:



I think until a picture has been widely circulated around the internet of you attempting to retain some semblance of dignity as you run a marathon while covered in feces, you do not know true embarrassment.

this baby is an asshole.

via Best Week Ever.

we are so fucked.

I can't stop freaking out about this. It is an absolutely terrifying clip of this robot called "the Big Dog," built by some exceptionally short-sighted fools from this company called Boston Dynamics. This thing is seriously going to enslave us all one day.



Fuck.

Its being developed with funding from DARPA, or the Defense Advanced Research Project Agency. I swear I'm not making this up, it sounds like something out of a fucking William Gibson novel. This is so obviously a bad idea. Apparently its primary task is going to be to carry weapons and ammunition across a crowded battlefield. Fantastic, you've done a real bang up job fellas. Next stop:

Nicolas Cage will put on a bear suit and punch you in the face.

Making fun of Nicolas Cage in my previous post reminded me of one of my all-time favourite YouTube videos, a highlight reel of the best moments of his completely insane remake of the Wicker Man that came out a few years ago. After watching this clip I actually ended up going out and renting the movie and its nowhere near as entertaining, so if you watch this and find yourself considering renting the Wicker Man, don't, all the best parts are in here. Rent Kiss Kiss Bang Bang instead, that movie is amazing. Anyways, its Cage time!

The Hobbit will probably not suck

When Peter Jackson was having that legal battle with New Line over Lord of the Rings royalties, I started to get really worried that they were going to make the Hobbit and completely fuck it up so that we couldn't even watch the LOTR trilogy anymore without thinking about it and cringing. Like, I don't know, Michael Bay's the Hobbit starring Nicolas Cage as Gandalf or something.

Luckily Peter Jackson is back on board producing and co-writing, and brought in Guillermo del Toro to direct, he directed Pan's Labrynth and is pretty much the man, so I am really excited about the Hobbit, and the still unnamed second movie they are doing right after. So anyways, Jackson and del Toro just did an online webchat on the WETA website answering a bunch of fan questions about the two movies, so if you are a raging fantasy nerd/loser like the glorious specimen below, and are curious about what they are up to you should check that out.



By the way, am I supposed to be writing all movie titles in italics? I have no idea what the rule is on that but I guess I'm just going to continue to do it.