Thursday, March 5, 2009

Almost there Internet...

I subscribe to the bohemian beliefs expressed by the ill fated lover of that French 'Red Windmill' movie: The Internet is like oxygen. The Internet is a many-splendoured thing, the Internet lifts us up where we belong. All you need is the Internet!

A little anachronistic given that the ever capitalized 'Internet' did not reach France until approximately the 1950's, but then again, Nirvana didn't exist in 1889 either and Elton John was only a child at the time.

All jokes aside, I do love how accessible the Internet has made the rest of the world. Any idiot could disprove pretty much everything I said above with a few simple word searches. Aside from the practical, productive uses (banking, job searching, email), it is also how I spend most of my leisure time (youtube, facebook, Action and Action). I never thought there would be a period in my life where I wouldn't have cable, let alone a television set, but these days my laptop is my TV, cable, and TVO all inside of a portable DVD player. Another thing that makes the Internet better than television is the user generated material that you would never see on a network, like all those 'Internet sensations' we've come to know and love so much.

Our current reliance and obsession in some cases (like mine) with the Internet has been spoofed several times over by the inspirational Trey Parker and Matt Stone, who I've long respected for having the most available show on line. When the Internet fails nationally in episode 1206 'Over Logging' we're treated to a panic that leads to brilliant Depression era throw-backs and an imaginative 'Internet porn simulator' for Stan's dad. After losing instant access to anything and everything his perverted mind could come up with, Randy gets a little backed up and resorts to a man behind a box drawing crude pictures of his requests for “Japanese girls exchanging bodily fluids” and “Brazilian fart fetish porn.” We understand where he gets his name once his 'Randyness' creates quite a mess.

Since I am fortunate enough to have what I consider to be rather pedestrian pornographic interests, I decided to apply this theory that just about any image one can dream up already exists in some form on the Internet to something other than fetish. When I tried to think of what I'd really like to see, the first image that came to me was of Freddy Kruger rocking out on guitar. Sure it would be tricky with the glove, but in the hands of the right artist, I'm sure it could somehow be beautifully realized. I wasn't successful in my search, but did find this sweet guitar image and for some reason, this awesome 'Clockwork Orange' desktop as well.

So the lesson learned is that if you do a google image search for something you'd really like to see, even if it's not on the Internet yet, you'll probably find some similar things that are equally as cool. I leave it to you to find me a picture of Freddy Kruger making Kirk Hammet look like Paul Jonas, then the Internet will truly be complete.

I'm going to sign off my first Action and Action post by thanking Rob for inviting me to contribute to a blog which has long been an oft-clicked bookmark and inspired me to begin my own just a few months back. I'll try to keep future posts a little more concise than this rant as we share tidbits of this strange technological beast.

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