jesus is my friend.

These are troubling times we are living in. For those of you that are feeling depressed or confused about things like the sad state of the economy, wars in Afghanistan, Iraq and elsewhere, genocide in Darfur, or rampant, deadly diseases with no cure in sight like cancer or AIDS , I implore you to watch the following video. Even if you don't buy into the nauseatingly positive religious message, you should be able to appreciate it on a more subversive, ironic level, which will distract you momentarily from all that other bad stuff.



Now I hope you were paying particular attention to what's going on around 1:40 into the song...I'm talking, of course, about the line where the singer describes how "Jesus came and found me / and he touched me down inside." I mean, even if you were a really naive, positive religious person, how could you write that line and not realize that there was potential for that to be misinterpreted? Also, what's with the line where he threatens that Jesus will "zap you any way he can?" What does that even mean? That he is going to zap you with his magic Jesus love powers? The Jesus that these people worship seems like a frightening guy who I do not want to be associated with.

Still, I gotta say that although the guitar player is probably not a person that I would enjoy hanging out with on a Friday night (or any night really,) he does have some pretty sweet stage moves.

new Killers single.

I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with Brandon Flowers. I do think the Killers are a great band and I actively enjoy their first two records (though I think Sam's Town was straining a little bit too hard for rock critic credibility.) But that's just the problem that I have with Flowers: it seems the success of his band has given him a vastly overinflated sense of artistic worth. Its frustrating to hear him in interviews talking down to other bands, as if he, who penned the brilliant opus "Somebody Told Me," is some bastion of creative integrity. What he needs to understand is that the Killers are a pop band - a really good pop band - but just because in between making Hot Fuss and Sam's Town he listened to a few Bruce Springsteen records and grew a beard, doesn't mean that he is now some great American songwriter.

That being said, I absolutely love the new Killers single, Human. It's a bit of mix stylistically between their first two records, with a definite synth-pop dance element, but with a little bit of the folksy Americana vibe that Flowers tried too hard to create with Sam's Town. It seems that he is finally finding his own voice instead of just trying to imitate Morrisey, or Springsteen, or whoever, which is a step in the right direction for him. I think it was a great choice to work with Stuart Price (who produced Madonna's Confessions on a Dance Floor,) as the song just seems like more of a pop hit than anything they've done for quite a while.

Lyrically, I was fascinated when at first I thought the hook in the chorus was "Are we human / or are we dancer?" which makes no fucking sense at all, but upon closer inspection I believe he is actually saying "are we human / or are we denser," which is still dumb but strangely compelling.

In any case, its a great song, but I still think Brandon Flowers needs to get over himself a little bit.

UPDATE:
I keep posting the song only to have it get taken down. I guess if you are the Killers its much better if no one listens to your new song. Good strategy guys. Just go and listen to it on their Myspace, but whatever you do, don't download it for free because that would be a horrible travesty.

MATT DAMON.

Let me go on record as saying that I find it extremely annoying when self-righteous celebrities with massive egos go on about their political opinions, as if they believe that somehow they are more enlightened about world issues because they make a living by reading words off a page and playing make believe all day, or because they are capable of singing songs and/or playing an instrument.

Case in point: Madonna recently stirred up controversy when she showed photos during one of her concerts that compared John McCain to Hitler. Now, I happen to be a huge fan of Madonna's music but I can't even fully comprehend the stupidity of this. It is clear that she will do or say just about anything in order to generate media attention or pretend that she is still somehow culturally relevant, even if it is with completely ignorant and uninformed ideas like that.



Listen, I would prefer that John McCain didn't win the upcoming US presidential election. Yes, the United States have some serious problems. Yes, George W. Bush has spent the last 8 years going full retard. But neither McCain nor George Bush are Hitler, and the United States isn't Nazi Germany, and anyone who will rationally attempt to make that argument really needs to relax a little bit. That type of insane rhetoric doesn't really further political discussion in any meaningful way, it's just a vague way of saying "this person = bad" and it ultimately does more harm than good.

It's this sort of ridiculous behaviour that feeds into the notion of the out-of-touch, celebrity based cult of Obama that doesn't know or understand anything about the problems faced by real, not ridiculously wealthy, decidedly unfamous regular people. Personally, if I want to form a political opinion, I will try my best to read about the issues being discussed, I'll find out as much as I can about a candidate, I will watch speeches and debates and try to formulate a logical opinion on my own. I don't need Madonna to break things down for me in terms that are so black and white it's completely insulting, I really could not care less who Scarlett Johansson's heart belongs to, and I wouldn't listen to advice from Will.I.Am or Puff Daddy about something completely inane like interior decorating, let alone complex sociopolitical issues.

Before I go on, let me fully acknowledge that this rant is intensely hypocritical, but I assure you: I am aware that I am an out-of-touch, lazy musician and that my political opinions are just as worthless as anyone I am complaining about here. Maybe even more so, seeing as I am also Canadian and can't even vote in the upcoming US election. But at least I am upfront about the fact that my opinion means absolutely nothing; to be honest, I am absolutely enthralled by this election, but this is why I have limited my political writings to discussing fist bumps or talking about how hot Michelle Obama is. Also, I am not a celebrity, so it's different.

Anyways, this culture of self-important egomaniacs trying to enlighten the world by sharing their political beliefs was brilliantly parodied in Team America: World Police, and it's ironic to me that Team America's infamous MATT DAMON has come out with one of my favourite political soundbites so far. As I've said before, I thought McCain's choice of Sarah Palin as his running mate was a shamelessly transparent political move, and I have some serious concerns about the fact that this lady could potentially become the leader of the free world, but I haven't heard that opinion echoed on too many mainstream media outlets (although this also could be because I don't have cable.) So in spite of my intense dislike of famous actors and musicians talking about their political opinions, I definitely enjoyed Damon's analysis of Sarah Palin and the state of the Presidential race, he really sums up the ridiculousness of the whole situation with a refreshing frankness:



It's like that scene in Good Will Hunting when he eviscerates that snobby Harvard student in the campus bar! MATT DAMON indeed. What an epic burn. What do you have to say to that Sarah??



Yeah, that's actually quite scary. I'll be going now.

two crazy bastards.

So its 1 am and I am watching Abel Ferrera's Bad Lieutenant on television, and I am getting some major kicks out of Harvey Keitel's delightfully unhinged performance as the out-of-control drug and gambling addicted Lieutenant. As Keitel descends further and further into crazytown, I can't help but be reminded of probably the most fucking insane movie character ever, Dennis Hopper's crazed, mysterious gas-huffing, sociopathic pimp from Blue Velvet, Frank Booth:



So I'm starting to wonder which character is more crazy: the Lieutenant or Frank Booth? Lets start by examining their mutual behaviour at arguably their most batshit-insane moments.

the Lieutenant


Frank Booth


Wow. Those are two deeply, deeply troubled individuals.

Now, the two characters share many similarities, like a nagging chemical dependency and the ability to fly off the handle in mad fits of rage at a moment's notice. But at least there is a method to Keitel's madness: the baseball team that he has bet money on loses, and since he has been drinking and snorting cocaine all day, he shoots out the radio in his car before falling into a deep existential despair. Hopper, on the other hand, goes on a completely "what the fuck?" psychosexual rampage, complete with a serious insanity-inducing mystery gas, and for no real discernible reason other than the fact that he seems to enjoy being a complete lunatic and punching Isabella Rossellini in the face.

So based on the pure empirical evidence, my heart is telling me to go with Hopper on this one, but right now I have to say I'm leaning towards the Lieutenant. Although I will admit that this decision is more than a little biased by the fact that at this exact moment, Harvey Keitel is holding two men at gunpoint and smoking crack while watching a baseball game. It's hard not to be influenced by that.

No matter which character is technically more of a psychopath, I've got to commend both actors for helping to redefine what it means to be an insane person in the world of cinema. Can you imagine if these two characters ever met and hung out in real life? I actually think the universe would explode. Or possible implode. Or maybe nothing at all would happen but in any case, there would be two very angry, very crazy, drug-addicted old guys roaming the streets together who I would be avoiding at all costs.

the future sucks.

If you're like me, you are probably more than a little disappointed in the technology and scientific advancements that we have seen leading up to this foul year of our Lord, 2008. I mean, the internet, iPhones, GPS, and Playstation 3 are great and everything, but when I was growing up, I was convinced that by 2008 we would have flying cars, robot slaves, interstellar exploration, time machines, and advanced laser weapons that we would eventually have to use to fight off the robot slaves that would obviously rebel and attempt to destroy all humanity. Instead, we have a vague plan to get back to the moon by 2020 and maybe send some people to Mars eventually. Fuck. That.

Anyways, things are quite literally looking up, and I am starting to get excited about what the future holds once more. That's right. Motherfucking space elevators, bitches. God bless the Japanese.

its gonna be a showdown.

I was first introduced to ELO's brilliant song Showdown via the hilarious 1996 Farrelly Brothers bowling comedy, Kingpin (which is the second greatest bowling comedy ever made next to the Big Lebowski.) Its funny, I've loved this song for a long time, but I've never really sought out any more music from the Electric Light Orchestra. I guess in my head nothing else they could ever do would ever be as good as Showdown. Its also surpirising that I had never checked out what Youtube had to offer in ELO content, but now that I have, I get the impression that there is a whole world of crazy 70's disco art rock just waiting to be discovered. Not only did they release a staggering number of hit songs, but I didn't realize it before today, but a big part of ELO's stage show and general aesthetic was their reliance on "spaceship imagery," which, of course, is right up my alley. Also, I had never seen a photo of the group, and its amusing to me how much rock star fashion has changed since the 70's. Its definitely much more difficult in today's musical climate to rock the "crazy homeless man that may or may not have a knife" look that ELO frontman Jeff Lynne sported in the bands heyday.

Synecdoche, New York

This is one of my most anticipated upcoming releases. Charlie Kaufman (Adaptation, Being John Malkovich, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,) is one of my favourite writers, and Synecdoche, New York is his feature directorial debut. It stars Phillip Seymour Hoffman, and it looks to be another postmodern, wonderfully acted mindfuck from Kaufman. From what little I know of it, it reminds me the most of Adaptation, which I think was one of the best films of the last decade or more.

here is a link to the trailer which I can't embed in the page because of the annoying Variety flash player. Also, here is a lengthy audio interview with Kaufman, and here is a video of Kaufman on the Charlie Rose show.

this is all via Ain't it Cool.